The spooning sex position is one of the easiest and most intimate positions in the bedroom. There are many reasons to enjoy spooning, but many consider it a favorite because it’s cozy, comfortable, and doesn’t require any strenuous activity that might bring on weird cramps. (It’s part of our list of lazy sex positions for a reason.)
But here’s the thing: While this position is great when you want to put in minimal effort, you won’t get minimal joy out of it. Spooning sex actually allows for incredibly deep penetration and lots of erogenous zone touching to maximize pleasure and orgasm.
Whether you’re still on the fence about spooning or you’re just looking for ways to enhance your experience, read on as two experts explain exactly what might become your next favorite sex position.
Experts featured in this article
Dr. Lisa Lawless is a clinical psychologist and CEO of Holistic Wisdom.
Marla Renee Stewart is Lover’s sex expert and co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay.
What is spoon sex?
While you might think of spooning as a PG cuddling position, it can quickly become X-rated when your partner starts feeling horny. Just like the cuddling position, the spooning sex position starts with both partners lying on their sides and facing the same direction. The partner in the back (often called the “big spoon”) is the one doing the penetration, while the partner in the front (also called the “little spoon”) is the one on the receiving end of the penetration.
“The spoon is popular because it allows for close contact and intimacy and can be used for vaginal or anal penetration,” clinical psychologist Dr Lisa Lawless told PS. Ideal for anyone, regardless of gender and sexual orientation, as the inserting partner can use their genitals, hands, sex toys or strap-on dildos on the receiving partner.
On a physical level, the spooning sex position can cause severe stimulation of the G-spot and prostate. But on a deeper level, sex positions connect you and your partner.
“Many people prefer the spooning position because most people like cuddling,” says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart. Since hugging can help people relax and relieve stress, “it can lead to sex because it provides a sense of safety and security, and many people are keen on having sex when they feel loved and secure,” she adds .
How to have spoon sex
To get into the spooning sex position, Stewart says, you can start by choosing a surface that can support the two of you lying on, such as a bed, couch, or floor. Then, lie down facing the same direction as your partner.
From there, the penetrating partner can place their arms wherever they’re comfortable—under their partner’s neck, around their partner’s waist, or on their partner’s chest. They can then penetrate from behind with their hands, genitals or a sex toy, Dr. Lawless said.
Sex doesn’t just have to stop during penetration, though. “Remember to let your hands move freely,” Stewart said. During penetration, you can touch your partner’s chest or breasts, stimulate their clitoris or other erogenous areas, and touch other places that feel comfortable.
spoon sex tips
Don’t be afraid to pair this position with a sex toy. If you have a clitoris, finding a sex toy to stimulate the area while having penetration can give you the mixed orgasm of your dreams. Simply place the sex toy on your clitoris or encourage your partner to place it on themselves.
Use your voice—and your mouth. “Add some dirty talk or heavy moans and breathing to arouse your lover,” says Stewart. Since this position allows for extreme intimacy, these auditory elements during sex will make you feel all types of things. Kissing in this position may be uncomfortable or impossible, but the partner behind can still kiss and suck on each other’s ears and neck with their mouths to attract more pleasure centers (just ask permission before leaving marks!).
Mix it up with variations. If things start to feel mundane, don’t be afraid to change positions or leg positions to find the exact arrangement that works for you. To add some variety, Dr. Lawless recommends that the receiving partner lifts their upper leg and places it on the penetrating partner’s hip, which “can create different angles and sensations during penetration, thereby enhancing pleasure.” She also It is recommended to place a pillow or cushion under the receiving partner’s buttocks to adjust the angle of penetration, as this can “enhance comfort and pleasure.”
Use lubricant. As with any sexual activity, it’s a good idea to use lube to “ease penetration,” Dr. Lawless said, especially if it’s anal sex. Generally speaking, lube makes it feel better, so no matter what type of play you’re into, lube is a smart move.
Taylor Andrews is PS’s Balance Editor, specializing in topics related to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.
